Found myself listening to a sermon this morning...trust me I didn't set out to nor purposely play it...another had it on and I found myself plugged into what was being discussed.
Got me thinking that's for sure.
3 Interesting Thoughts That I Took Away:
1) comfortable in your own skin
2) its the sick who need a doctor
3) rules don't make a relationship
The first is in regards to Jesus being so comfortable in his own skin that he made those around him comfortable. Interesting thought to say the least. Like if there is any truth to this statement than everyone around me growing up were not comfortable in their own skin.
The second was about how Jesus hung out with the sick...even tax collectors. How he was comfortable and liked to hang out with those who were sick and not necessarily health wise. That in itself gives me hope that just maybe if Jesus were here today that he'd want to hang out with me.
Third is wrecking me. And I'm not sure if its in a good way. Rules don't make a relationship. Like all I was surrounded by were spoken and unspoken rules growing up. So what does that say of my own parents, siblings, fam, friends? Was there never really any relationships? Then what is it we had??? A partnership? Business deal? Like what? Tolerance?
Uf-da!
That last one kinda hit hard. Did we just, did they just tolerate me and put up with me...really cuz they had to? Just as long as they had to before they could ship me off to the next poor undeserving soul?
All that's playing through this mind right now is my parents. How they longed, desired, craved, wanted nothing more than to get me graduated from high school. Couldn't wait for that day. But its like funny thing is they wanted that day so bad but it stopped there. I never got the impression I would ever leave home. Wasn't a choice. Nor did they prepare me for life outside of high school.
So why the push???
It wasn't they wanted me out of their sight. Something else...what???
Honestly I'm stopped cold in my tracks...just thinking...pondering what it could be...
Anyways, so yeah this is where I'm at today. Sorry all, having a hard time refocusing...
Not much of a wrap up or conclusion...may have to come back to this when I can think a little more clearly once again...
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